Do you by any chance feel competitive with your partner? How will you acknowledge that there is competition between the two of you? To understand if you’re feeling competitive with your partner, consider the following cases:

Cases of competition in a relationship

• Do you feel insecure or angry when your partner achieves personal success?
• Do you rush to respond by mentioning an achievement of your own when he mentions his achievement?
• Do you want to outshine him on several occasions?
• Are you inwardly happy when he doesn’t get his desired result in something?

Generally, a competitive behavior may work in two ways depending on what a person has learnt about competition. It can either motivate people to make progress or stop them. In terms of a romantic relationship, competition is not constructive because in the long run it causes the couple to drift apart and as a result the partners seek enthusiasm and respect elsewhere.

People who feel competitive with their partner are 37% less likely to feel satisfied in their relationship according to the Romero-Medina 2001 research.

Why you feel the need to treat your partner as an opponent and you wish to beat him? You feel competitive with your partner when there is a part of you that feels insecure and needs to boost your self-esteem. A person who feels good about their personality acknowledges their talents and grows at their own pace, without feeling competitive with other people.

How will eliminating behaviors such as competition make you feel more satisfied in your relationship?

7 Steps to eliminate competition in your relationship

1. Acknowledge your competitive behavior with intent to change it.
2. When you feel competitive ask yourself “What am I afraid of?” and respond to your fear in an empowering way.
3. Adopt the belief that “Everyone has their own talents and is unique, so this is a chance for me and my partner to complement each other”.
4. Focus on your own progress and goals independent of your partner.
5. Start to work as a team with your partner setting common goals and according to the perception that together you can achieve more.
6. Applaud your partner’s success wholeheartedly and notice that your behavior will come around.
7. Boost your self-esteem using any self-improvement technique you choose.

Real happiness and satisfaction in your relationship is found when you are genuinely happy with someone else’s happiness and particularly your partner’s happiness, you express the happiness you’re feeling and you wish all the best wholeheartedly.